Making plans: A guide to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce

Introduction

Parenting is one of the most important jobs you'll ever have. Your children are depending on you to guide them to adulthood. You want to do what's best for them.

Parenting can be difficult, even when parents live together. After separation or divorce, parenting can be more challenging. But your children's basic needs don't change. They still need security, stability and nurturing.

Parenting laws in the Divorce Act change as of March 1, 2021. This guide reflects these changes. The biggest difference is that the Act no longer uses the terms “custody” and “access.” The court now makes “parenting orders.”

The Divorce Act is the federal law that sets out the rules for legally ending a marriage. The federal Divorce Act generally applies when married couples divorce and need to settle issues about the divorce, including those related to parenting arrangements. When a married couple is separated but not yet divorcing, or if the couple is unmarried, provincial and territorial family laws apply.

Is this guide for me?

This guide is for parents. It contains helpful information about parenting after separation and divorce.

You can use this guide if you're making a parenting arrangement under the Divorce Act.

A parenting arrangement is a plan for the care of your children after you separate or divorce. This includes arrangements about where the children will live, where they will go to school, their religious education (if any), their participation in cultural activities, their medical care, their after-school activities, and so on.

This guide may still be useful to you even if the Divorce Act doesn’t apply to your situation. The basic decisions that you have to make about parenting arrangements are similar whether you're separating or divorcing.

You may also find this guide helpful if a family member with children is separating or divorcing (for example, if you are a grandparent).

This guide provides information on:

The Department of Justice Canada has a booklet for children called What happens next? Information for kids about separation and divorce. You can read this booklet with your children to help them understand what is happening. If your children are old enough, you can encourage them to read it themselves and have an open discussion about it afterwards.

How do I use this guide?

It may be helpful to read this guide from beginning to end—it contains lots of useful information.

You can also just read the sections that you need. Each section can be read on its own.

Each family is different. Some of the information in this guide may not apply to you and that's O.K. You can also use this guide to help you complete a parenting plan.

A parenting plan is a written document that outlines how parents will raise their children after separation or divorce.

The Department of Justice Canada website has free resources to help parents come up with workable parenting arrangements that are in your children's best interests:

  • The Parenting Plan Checklist is a tool to help you start the discussion on making plans about parenting
  • The Parenting Plan Tool is an interactive tool that gives you some options to develop a personalized parenting plan

If you don’t understand a specific term, consult the Glossary at the end of this guide for a number of definitions. The same definitions can also be found throughout the guide. It may be helpful to consult the section in which the term was used to fully understand the concept.

What is the role of the court?

When relationships end, most parents agree on how they will parent their children without going to court. It's generally best for everyone—especially children—when parents can agree. Asking a judge to make the decisions for you can be costly, time-consuming and stressful for everyone.

In some situations, however, you may have to ask a judge to decide and obtain a court order. For example, you may have to go to court if you have concerns about your safety or the safety of your children. Or, where you cannot reach an agreement, you may have to ask a judge to decide the parenting arrangement that is best for your children.

A court order is a written decision made by a judge. Parents must follow what the court order says. Court orders can be changed by going back to a judge and asking for a change, but only if there is a good reason.

Who can help me?

There are many people who can help you agree on parenting arrangements. Mediators and counsellors often work with parents. Accountants may also be involved to deal with child support issues. Every province and territory offers family justice services for separating or divorcing parents, including parent information programs. To find services available in your province or territory, visit the Department of Justice Canada’s Directory of Government-Based Family Justice Services.

A mediator is a third party who helps parents agree on issues related to separation and divorce, such as parenting arrangements.

A counsellor is a person who is trained to give advice or guidance on personal issues, such as parenting after separation or divorce. Counsellors may have different backgrounds such as social work or psychology.

Family justice services are public or private services that help people dealing with issues arising from separation and divorce. Examples include mediation, parent information programs, supervised access programs, and maintenance enforcement programs.

Do I need legal advice?

This guide has general information about parenting after separation or divorce. It does not provide legal advice.

Family law issues can be complex. A legal adviser can give legal advice about all the different factors that are important in your situation and help you come to an agreement. When you are developing a parenting plan, it's important to speak with a legal adviser to make sure you understand:

You may need a legal adviser's help with some of your family law problems but not others. Or, you may only be able to pay for help for a few of your problems. Some legal advisers will be willing to talk with you about what you need and what you can afford to pay, and then work with you to reach an agreement about the assistance they will give you.

A legal adviser is a person who is qualified in your province to give legal advice to someone or represent them in court. This can be a lawyer, and in some provinces, may include other professionals, such as notaries or paralegals.

You and the other parent come to an agreement when you reach a common understanding about your parenting arrangements. You may want to make this agreement legally binding, which means you both need to follow the agreement. There are different ways of doing this, depending on the laws in your province. One way to make your agreement enforceable is to have the terms of the agreement included in a consent order.

A consent order is an order a judge will make once both parents agree on certain issues. For example, if parents agree to a parenting time schedule, the court could include the agreement about the child’s schedule in an order.

Family dispute resolution processes are out-of-court options that parties can use in a family law dispute to attempt to resolve any issues about which they disagree. There are many types of family dispute resolution processes: negotiation, mediation, collaborative law, and arbitration. For more information about different types of family dispute resolution, see Section 5: Options for developing a parenting arrangement.

What if I can't afford a legal adviser?

You may wish to contact your local legal aid office to see if you qualify for legal aid. You can search the Internet for "legal aid" and your city or area. For example, if you live in Alberta, you can search "legal aid" and "Alberta."

If you don't qualify for legal aid, you may wish to contact a lawyer referral service. To see a list of services available in your area, visit the Department of Justice Canada’s provincial and territorial Lawyer Referral Services directory at www.justice.gc.ca.

What if I have more questions?

If you have questions this guide doesn't answer, you can find more information on the Department of Justice Canada’s Family Law web pages at www.family.justice.gc.ca.

Disclaimer

Officials of the Department of Justice Canada cannot give legal advice to the public. This means officials cannot: tell you how the law would apply in your particular case, interpret court decisions, or tell you what steps you should take based on the specific facts of your case. Officials can only give members of the public general legal information. If you need legal advice about your rights and obligations or a legal opinion regarding your specific situation, you may wish to consult with a legal adviser.

You can also contact a provincial or territorial public legal education and information (PLEI) organization. PLEI organizations give information to the public about many different areas of law, including family law. To find organizations in your area, consult the Department of Justice Canada’s list of provincial and territorial PLEI organizations.

Other resources may be available in your community, including legal aid clinics, community centres, and provincial or territorial family law information centres. You can find government-based resources by consulting the Directory of Government-Based Family Justice Services.

You can also contact your community’s helpline or find local services by doing a quick online search. For example, if you live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, you can search for “family law resources” and “Winnipeg.”

If you're worried about your children’s and/or your own safety

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 or your local police.

If you or your children have been abused or feel unsafe around the other parent, you need to put safety first and seek help. Children who are abused can have long-term physical or mental health problems. This is also true for children who see or hear abuse between other family members. Children are often far more aware of one parent abusing the other than their parents realize.

If you're concerned about your safety or your children's safety, please see Section 6: Special issues, for more information on family violence. You should also note that some of the information in this guide may not be appropriate in your case.