The Ontario Rural Woman Abuse Study (ORWAS), final report
4. FINDINGS: WOMAN ABUSE IN RURAL ONTARIO
4. FINDINGS: WOMAN ABUSE IN RURAL ONTARIO
Utilising the collective framework developed for the community reports, the following are the key findings of the Ontario Rural Woman Abuse Study.
4.1 Community Awareness and Attitudes about Woman Abuse
4.1.1 Meaning of Abuse
Abuse means different things to different people. Participants were asked to define abuse in their own community and surrounding area. Physical, sexual, mental, emotional and financial abuse were all identified.
“ … Abuse is about controlling.” (Cochrane resident)
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“[Abuse] boils down to two words: power and control … ” (Vermilion Bay resident)
4.1.2 Stereotypes
Women
Stereotypical roles for men and women can be common in rural communities and can lead women to believe that they must be a ‘good wife’ by avoiding conflict within the family.
“I bore four children, had the house clean, acted happy all the time, worked forty hours a week, handed over the pay cheque with a smile and never spoke back or refused sex.” (Oxford County survivor)
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“When something happens, like unemployment, somehow the woman is expected to take the emotional brunt of whatever it is … take care of the other person’s feelings.” (Espanola survivor)
Men
Typically, men in rural communities were described as patriarchal, conservative or traditional. As well, they were seen as the breadwinner, and, for the most part, ‘the good father.’
“I do think … in a rural community you have much more of the old fashioned type attitude where a man is king of his castle and a woman is supposed to do what a woman is supposed to do. I think that is just the nature of the rural lifestyle.” (Espanola survivor)
4.1.3 Stigma
Half of the respondents indicated that there is a stigma associated with being an abused woman which frequently prevents them from disclosing the abuse. This stigma is associated with the negative connotations of being on social assistance and of needing the services of women’s shelters. Combined, these stigmas might deter women from seeking help.
“I think there is still an awful lot of stigma and shame attached to being a victim. You can hear them say, “How can a smart girl like her stay in a situation like that?” (Grey-Bruce service provider)
“You have to be very careful who you tell … because it’s a form of gossip and it adds to the injury and adds to the shame.” (Stormont, Dundas & Glengarry survivor)
4.1.4 Woman Blaming
When asked about how the community viewed domestic violence, many of the participants felt that society blames the woman for her situation.
“I tried to talk to one of the ladies and she told me,
‘You must have done something for him to hit you.’
I was so disappointed in her that she would tell me that.” (Cochrane survivor)“One respondent revealed that the husbands of women within the farming community no longer allowed their wives to communicate with her because she is perceived as a bad influence.” (Stormont, Dundas & Glengarry Community Report
Women also internalise the blame.
“ … I am still of the opinion that I’m to blame, and they [shelter staff] try to make you see that … it’s not your fault, that it was circumstances maybe … ” (Vermilion Bay survivor)
“Because you’re ashamed, because you believe it’s your fault, that you did something to deserve that.” (Grey-Bruce survivor)
4.1.5 Silence and Denial
The most common method of coping with the abuse for almost all of the women was denial. Denial was the community’s most common response to the violence as well.
“If I had to talk about it out loud, that would make it real.” (Oxford County survivor)
“You know what’s happening, but I really didn’t want to look at it, because if I looked at it, I had to do something about it, and that was hard, so hard.” (Espanola survivor)
“She denies what happens just so that she can survive from day to day because it’s near to impossible to live with that kind of fear without protection.” (Vermilion Bay service provider)
Both the victims and the community members confirmed that there is silence around woman abuse in rural communities.
“Depending on his social status in the community, it would be really difficult to tell people if he’s got any kind of social standing.” (Stormont, Dundas and Glengarry service provider)
“Most people didn’t believe what was going on because my husband was a prominent member of our township.” (Espanola survivor)
4.1.6 Awareness Paradox
A number of women spoke to the issue of community complicity. Many identified the paradox of their belief that the abuse was a secret, only to find out later that neighbours, ministers and family members had known about the violence all along but had chosen to remain silent. There were a variety of explanations for this awareness paradox, including not wanting to get involved, ‘old fashioned’ attitudes concerning gender roles and the sanctity of the family, and the fear that the woman would not have listened anyway.
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